The Art of Technology
by Kevvy Talks
Summary: Los Noches and Soul Society are introduced to the wonders of the laptop... Let the chaos begin.
1. Espadas

**The Art of Technology**

**Characters/Pairings: Various**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Los Noches and Soul Society are introduced to the wonders of the laptop. Let the chaos begin.**

**Disclaimer: I totally don't own Bleach.**

* * *

**Coyoto Starrk: **He fiddles around with the cursor a moment before face-planting in the keyboard and falling asleep.

**Lillinette Gingerback: **She gets pissed off when she keeps losing Solitaire.

**Barragan Luisenbarn:** "I AM THE KING OF HUECO MUNDO! HEAR ME, INFERNAL LAPTOP, AND DO MY BIDDING!" The laptop hummed, still. Barragan picked it up and threw it into the wall, where it shattered into bits.

**Tia Harribel: **She looks at it for a few moments before walking off and letting her Fracciónes fight over it.

**Ulquiorra Schiffer: **"I don't see the point of this useless contraption."

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Nnoitora tinkered with the buttons, pressing all the keys and trying to get the porn to come up. When he couldn't get the "internet" to work, he picked the laptop up and began slamming it into the ground.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" he bellowed, ramming it into the floor a couple more times and watching with delight as parts unhinged and the keys went flying all over the place.

He continued with this carnage for several more minutes.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** Grimmjow blinked as the computer hummed to life and punched the screen in, thinking it was preparing for a lethal attack.

**Zommari Leroux: **"Accept my Amour!"

**Szayel Aporro Grantz: **Szayel never used the laptop. Instead, he spent hours taking it apart to see how it was configured.

**Aaroniero Arruruerie: **Aaroniero stayed up for hours at a time watching tentacle hentai.

**Yammy Rialgo: **He picks his nose and looks at it for awhile before walking off, bored.


	2. Captains

**The captains are introduced to laptops.**

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**Shigekuni Yamamoto Genryusai: **"The things humans come up with..."

**Soi Fon: **"If it doesn't benefit the stealth force, it is of no use to me."

**Rose Otorabashi: **"I think I'd rather play my guitar for now."

**Gin Ichimaru (former): **He smiles at it and it turns on.

**Retsu Unohana: **She inspected it for several seconds and then had to rush out of her office to attend to an emergency.

**Shinji Hirako: **"C'mon, this is all old hat to me."

**Sosuke Aizen (former):** "I already know all. What use would I have for it?" After a moment of silence, Aizen turned to the device and Googled himself to see how far his powerful reach had gone over the internet.

He saw all his fan-hater's blogs and the stories on Fanfiction where he is degraded over and over. He saw fanart where he is degraded.

He had Tousen burn the laptop. "We shall never speak of this again, Kaname..."

"Yes, my lord."

**Byakuya Kuchiki: **"This is irrelevant to me." A considerable amount of time passed...Byakuya strode over to his bed where the laptop lay and turned it on.

He logged onto the internet and in pursuit of information about Renji he discovered many homosexual-related Fanfics where himself and Renji had sexual relations.

Unaware that there was no absolute truth to this, Byakuya took Renji to be a homo and had his ass kicked out of the 6th division...with a thousand cherry blossoms flying after him in a fury.

**Sajin Komamura:** "I haven't received orders from the captain-commander about this. I think it's best not to touch it until I've gotten confirmation."

**Shunsui Kyoraku:** "Whoa, Nanao... look at all these dating sites! There's so many pretty young girls!" Nanao whacked him over the head.

**Kensei Muguruma: **"Not interested."

**Kaname Tousen (former):** "This is not part of the cause. It is an outside element. I see no potential for it."

**Kenpachi Zaraki: **"Ikkaku, throw this hunk of junk in the garbage!"

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi: **"_Please. _I have already discovered this device and it is far beneath my current interests. NEMU, GET THIS PIECE OF HARDWARE OUT OF MY SIGHT, THIS INSTANT!"

**Jushiro Ukitake:** "What a funny device. And it's got pretty pictures!" (referring to the wallpaper on the desktop).


	3. Lieutenants

**What happens when the lieutenants are introduced to laptops.**

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**Chojirou Sasikibe:** He goes to see if his captain has been informed of this "laptop", and upon seeing Yamamoto is not interested, he does away with it.

**Marechiyo Ohmaeda: **"I'll pay for one for each member of the stealth force and my family!"

**Izuru Kira: **He doesn't realize there's a power button and stares at the black screen, depressed. "Not even this device wants to work for me..." He goes back to his emo corner.

**Isane Kotetsu: **She gets really excited over it and goes to show Unohana and Isane.

**Momo Hinamori: **She Googles Aizen.

**Renji Abarai:** "What is it? How does it work?" He goes to find someone who will tell him how it works.

**Tetsuzeamon Iba: **He waits for his captain to tell him what to do with it.

**Nanao Ise: **She catches Shunsui on the diting sites and takes the laptop away from him...but not before thoroughly beating him with said laptop.

**Rangiku Matsumoto: **"Oooh! How cool! Captain, come look at this! You're on Wikipedia!"

**Yachiru Kusajishi:** "Baldy, what is this?" Yachiru asked Ikkaku. He propped his wooden sword on his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "It's a laptop, twerp. Which reminds me, the captain said to dispose of it."

"Okay!" Yachiru chirped, and threw the laptop into Ikkaku's face, breaking his nose.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Ikkaku screamed as flood gushed from his nose. "WHAT IN BLUE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

"You said to dispose of it, so I threw it away!" Yachiru giggled and flash-stepped down the hall with Ikkaku hot on her heels.

**Nemu Kurotsuchi:** She throws it in the trash at Mayuri's request.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **She's seen these things in the world of the living. But she gets excited anyway and goes to show it to Ukitake.

**Kaien Shiba (former):** "How unusual...What's it s'pposed to do?"


End file.
